Tuesday, February 05, 2008

the girl who sees you

I see that visitor count keep going up (even though the comments remain the same, hint, hint, a girl needs a little PVM ya know) but don't really have anything new to post.

I'm in a crappy mood and don't really want to bring the whole world into my black hole.

Still looking for a job and still going into work every day until the final day. The resentment and "why bother" attitude is starting to pervade and becoming very difficult to fight. I keep reminding myself I'm staying for the employees so I can get through open enrollment and they can have their benefits and so I can finalize training of the person responsible for their pay.

I remind myself this was my idea to stay long enough to accomplish this and that I really fought for it, and even though the extra paycheck is definitely a motivating factor, it's really because I hate leaving things undone.

But it's hard to go in and remain positive and professional.

It's hard to try to finish up projects that may, ultimately mean nothing to anyone but myself.

It's hard to hear another person come up and say "you're leaving? why?" or knowing why and telling me why its so unfair.

It's even harder to put a smile on my face and say, "I'm sure it will be a positive move and things will work out, don't worry." instead of agreeing with them and ranting and raving about the injustice of it all.

I had an employee in my office for 20 min the other day actually crying because she had heard the news.

It's hard, and just add to that a washer that STILL isn't fixed and a cold that WILL NOT GO AWAY and I am just drained.

So I'll try to post when I am in a better mood or have good news.

Thanks for lurking.


Melissa said...

Sorry things aren't working out right now the way you would like. I hope things look up soon! I don't know how you're doing it without a washer- I think that alone would put me over the edge. :o)

Bethany Kartchner said...

Yuck. I hope that things look up soon. And no, I'm not a lurker, I just discovered your site from Bad Girls. I'm the president of your fan club so it only fits that I should visit you every once and a while. LOL!

*Southern Beall* said...

Sorry to hear things aren't so jim dandy these days. It get's better( it has to, right?). =)
A lurker here, got your link from Peas, I believe. Wanted to say HI & (((Hugs)))

jenscaleshr said...

More Hugs.

You WILL get through this and you WILL find something better. This experience has helped you so that you can move UP in your CAREER. I know you will. Because YOU ROCK. And I may have to fight Bethany for the president of your fan club.