Thursday, July 03, 2008

the girl who has a three day weekend (and a migraine)

One is not caused by the other, I promise.

It just seems fated that I would have a terrible, horrible, no good day at work when I have a long weekend coming up.

First, it was a "but first" day.

I have to get these I-9's finished, but first I better check that blinking red light on my phone and return some calls, but first I better meet with the DOL Investigator, but first I better term someone, but first I better go to my meeting, but first I need to investigate an incident, but first I need to stop and listen sympathetically while someone complains about their performance review, but first I need to stop and listen sympathetically to their subordinate complain about the job he's been assigned, but first I need to go term someone, but first I better get an escort 'cuz he's a BIG guy, but first I need to talk to the owner, but first I need to get back to the office, but first I need to term someone else, but first I better get something to eat, but first I better take care of the dozen notes I wrote in my notebook, but first I better check that blinking red light on my phone AGAIN, but first I need to take care of the background checks of the dozen employees managers have hired despite the hiring feeze, but first I better get ready to go home, but first I better put my desk in some semblance of order, but first I better get those I-9's finished.

ugh.

Then I'm driving home and my cell phone rings. Yes, my cell phone. I haven't had one for about a year and I've gotten along just fine and what happens? The company issues me one. Now I can be reached night and day.

Yay.

Then I get home and the tingling in my scalp that always seems to preclude a migraine starts to intesify. It actually feels like I have bruises on my scalp. And I come home to a house full of boys whose every sentence starts with "Mommy, can I?" or "Mommy, I want..." in the highest pitched tones.

So I take some pills which are always unpredicatable. Sometimes they make me pass out within 20 minutes. Other times they bring the migraine to a terrible climax where I can feel every blood vessel in my head tighten and squeeze until I am literally tearing up and curled in the fetal position bargaining with the Flying Spaghetti Monster to just let me pass out and slip into peaceful oblivian, and other times--such as tonight--I feel oddly detached and energized. I feel the blood throbbing through my head, but it's relaxing, like a massage and the fuzzy blackness on the edge of my vision is just makes everything a little vignette. I tried to sleep, but my mind was restless, so I got up to read. And now I'm here, listening to people set of firecrackers a night early, and I particularly stress the NIGHT part.

So I'm a little grumpy.

At the same time, looking back on the day, it's just so nice to feel the stress again. To have something to do and to feel necessary. Even coming home to the four screaming monsters...they're MY monsters and they love me and need me, and I them.

Maybe it's the drugs, maybe it's the day finally winding down and giving me the opportunity to reflect, or maybe it's just me being the babbling idiot that I am, but it was a fulfilling day--migraine and all--and it makes me appreciate the long weekend that much more.

1 comment:

jenscaleshr said...

WOw... great post, girlie. Sorry about your day, but I know what you mean. It's good to be needed. And it's really good to have days off from being so needed.

I hope your headache has subsided and that you can actually enjoy some of the time away from the BUT FIRST place.

Love you.