Thursday, September 20, 2007

the girl is already over it

I usually have very few privacy issues--I mean, with four boys in a small house, I can't really expect much. But what is it with the bathroom? (TMI alert) Why is it impossible for me to go to the bathroom by myself? You would expect a closed door would be a signal of sorts, but not so. Apparently a closed door is an invitation to corner Mommy while she is trapped on the toilet. And it doesn't matter WHAT is going on in the bathroom, the boys want to be part of it. Locking the door has no effect, other than to encourage the child to stand outside the door banging on it over and over and getting worked up--which translates to LOUD!

Mommy's taking a shower? Let's leave the door open so it gets ice cold and then ask Mommy why her nipples are hard enough to cut glass and what do they do and can I come in with you and here's a bath toy for you Mommy and I want a drink Mommy can I have some juice and Mommy, so-and-so called me a name and Eli's crying Mommy and Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, MOMMY!

Mommy's is trapped on the toilet offending herself? A perfect time to come in and discuss the fact that you would like some Boo-bah toys (don't know why Ian is on this kick, right now. It's a resurgence.) and by making this request, you expect immediate, as in get up and let's go now, action or time to come in and stay just out of arms reach while going through all the toiletries and ignoring Mommy's cries to put down the lipstick now or, even better, come in and just sit and chat while asking Mommy questions about her bodily functions and (even better) inquiring about the sanitary products Mommy is currently using and wanting to know if Mommy is ok.

So let's say Mommy is getting ready for work. Now is the perfect time to come in and ask about book fair money or to insist on using all of Mommy's hair mousse, deodorant, et all, or again, with the sanitary products, only add breast pads to the list because I'm nursing, and again with the request for juice, expecting immediate action.

There have been times when the entire family (including the cat!) have taken advantage of the fact Mommy was trapped to converge upon the bathroom and just chill out. It's amazing, really. So my embarrassment quotient is pretty high and I actually had to go, huh? when that body guard of Britney Spears testified she spent time naked in front of her kids. Between the lack of bathroom privacy and breastfeeding, my kids are very well acquainted with female nudity.

So normally, its not really an issue. I'm kinda used to it. But today I just wanted a little alone time and when the bathroom barrage began I ended up growling and snapping at the kiddos. Of course, they each had to beard the lioness in her lair and each got their own dose of "CAN'T I JUST GO TO THE BATHROOM IN PEACE!!!!?"

Where did I put that Valium? Yep, Valium and some duct tape and a maid (or bulldozer) and I just might make it through the day. More importantly, my kids might make it through the day!


So, Little E got snipped this week. Poor baby! He couldn't have it done before because he was so small, and then there was a slight (ahem) insurance snafu which took some time to get resolved, so at ten weeks the little guy went in for his procedure. The little porker is up to 7lb, 14 oz! Yes, that is "normal baby" size. But keep in mind, his corrected age is just three weeks, so I'm pretty satisfied. He, however, was not satisfied. On top of having his turtleneck altered to a crew neck, the Dr. had to add insult to injury by giving him four vaccinations! I guess its better to get it over with all at once, but still--poor baby!

This is him before the dreaded procedure. Isn't that hat and baby blanket combo adorable? They were made by a lovely girl that DH works with. I met her once very briefly when DH took me all around his work to show off 11. She stood out from everyone and I remembered her out of all the people I met that day. I tease DH and call her his GF. But you have to be careful when you tease like that in front of the kiddos. Zachary now refers to the blanket as "the blanket Daddy's girlfriend made." Lol! So thank you, Laura, its adorable and I love it and can I get those cute hats made for each of my boys?

Speaking of all these little shorthand acronyms I use, my Darling Hubby isn't familiar with all of them and when he spotted me using DH in reference to him, he translated it to something completely different and got himself quite worked up and offended. For the record: "DH" is not an acronym for Richard Cranium.

Lastly, gotta share this lo I did for a scrappy contest recently. I love these pics of Matthew and you might recognize them from an earlier post. I had a ton of fun with this lo and it was good enough to advance me to round three of Top Designer at the Bad Girls website.

shake it, Matthew!


island girl said...

i'm a little jealous...someone has already knitted for MY little ELEVEN!! *hairball*

sorry about the no privacy deal jules...i feel for you!

Keela said...

My 5 year old ds (just turned 5) walked up to my laptop, saw your layout and said, "Are they having an underwear party on there?" LOL!!!!! Adorable layout! I sooooo know what you mean about never being left alone. Just last night I had to have my dh grab my younger two and remove them from the bathroom door. I seriously thought they were going to knock it down. I never thought I'd hear myself say, "Can I just poop in peace?!!!" I love love love that hat! Soooo cute! Have a great day!

jenscaleshr said...

WOW!! LOL - what a post! I'm totally with ya on the bathroom thing... I've finally gotten it to a point where at least they knock before they barge in... now maybe soon I can get them to wait until I say it's okay to come in!

Little Eli is sooo cute!!