the girl who has an anniversary

Nine years ago Aramis said to me, "You want to do this today?" *This* being get married. So, having the day off and nothing else to do, this man I had met five months prior took me down to the courthouse and we exchanged vows. Now, while it was a little spur of the moment, we were actually engaged and had been since three weeks after we met. But we had been tallying up the cost of a wedding and had recently found out we were expecting Zachary as well, so we decided to elope.

When its right, its right, and having a white dress and a huge florist's bill doesn't make it more right.

So I'm sure we have exceeded all of our "friends" at the time's expectations. But here we are, nine years, four kids and countless moments later...still together, still in love, and still wondering how it got to be so many years when the love is still so fresh and brand new.

This is the first song Aramis dedicated to me. (He likes to do that, find a song that speaks to him and dedicate to whomever it reminds him of) It may seem an odd choice, but it melted my heart and I still think of it as "our" song.

Artist: Hum Song: Suicide machine Album: You'd Prefer an Astronaut

Sleep comes to everyone while we wait for the Sunday afternoons.
Sleep comes to everyone, everyone maybe yeah, but you.
Sleep comes to everyone while we wait, wide awake and blue.
Sleep comes to everyone, everyone maybe, yeah, but me and you.

And so I give myself away, to everybody everyday.
And so I give myself to you, and you need it more than I do.
And so I give myself away, unto everybody everyday.
And so I give myself to you, and you need it more than I do.

Sleep comes to everyone while we wait for the Sunday afternoons.
And sleep comes to everyone, everyone maybe, yeah, but you.
And I had this one figured out,
That's why the suicide machine is built for two,
A simple sick device devised to overload on love,
To bring us colored dreams and soundtracked waves of fun.

And so I give myself away, to everybody everyday.
And so I give myself to you, and you need it more than I do.
And so I give myself away, to everybody everyday.
And so I give myself to you, and you need it more than I do.

Sleep comes to no one else like we have falling through the ground,
Fulfilling promises of endless summer nights,
I'm losing ground, you're losing sound.

Somewhere through a thousand blues,
A dragonfly descends with just a whisper, I'm lonelier than God.
And all my wishes spin the fishes in the air and every one,
A different shade of you.

And to the left where up is down
Now stands a zebra made of shapes of me,
And silver and the sun.
So bring no guilt with you up above the flat-line,
Let's just hit the sky exploding into one.

I love you, Baby. Happy Ninth Anniversary!

the girl who is celebrating "Happy Day", for REAAAL!

Today is "Happy Day," so decreed by my nearly-five-year-old. I'm not quite sure what sparked it, but he woke up and announced it. Apparently on Happy Day, you get to go to Miss Mitzi's school! So I guess we celebrate it Monday through Wednesday. I wonder if this will count as one of our paid holidays for work?

Busy, busy, busy time of year and then I just add to it by taking on this modeling thing. The Friday before last, I got an email from our Scout about a modeling call the next day in Miami. I figured I'd go and use it as a learning experience even though we didn't have Zack's composite cards yet. The Scout told me to take all three of the older boys even though Ian barely qualified for their age requirement and Matthew didn't. So I did. And it was quite the learning experience for me.

I learned I can’t be away from Eli for 24 hours and not bring my breast pump, as much as I thought I was close to weaning.

I learned traveling with three kids in a mini van for four hours is torture,

I learned that my public Mommy Manners only last about 12 hours and after that I snap.

I learned that Ian falls asleep in the car, Zack will join him soon after and Matthew will stay awake the entire time asking me questions.

I learned Radio Disney doesn’t last much past Kissimmee.

I learned that when the call asks for a specific age, they really mean a specific size.

I learned that there are many pretty people in Miami and they all showed up for the call.

I learned that professional models have no modesty issues and I got to see quite a bit of toned, buff, chiseled bodies as they stripped down to try on samples.

I learned that I am going to avoid open calls in Miami and concentrate on papercasting and local calls because $150 a trip is not in my budget.

And lastly, I learned that Zack really is serious about this and might actually have what it takes.


The call was interesting, and I found out later it was not done “professionally” (I could have guessed that when we were all lined up outside someone’s (really cool) house in South Beach) and that it was normally handled by a casting agency. They dismissed the younger two right off the bat, but did seem interested in Zack. They had him try on a sample outfit (kinda Euro-punk cute) and took his picture and asked him some questions about sports he liked and if he could ride a bike. However, not having a completed comp card really hindered us in this case, since they didn’t go through a casting agency. I was told that the casting agency will have you fill out a form and take a Polaroid to attach along with your comp card and resume, so the fact we didn’t have one yet wouldn’t be a huge deal. They didn’t have anything like that and I ended up scrawling Zack’s info on a scratch piece of paper. Since we haven’t heard back, I’m assuming he didn’t get cast, which is fine. I don’t think I could have handled the Miami drive again AND prep for Thanksgiving.

And Thanksgiving was the next item on my schedule. I ended up taking the Wednesday before Turkey Day off to clean the house, shop and prep the food. I needed it! Got everything ready, only to find out my FIL was not going to be coming! He was the one I was stressing out over!

Fast forward to the next day and I had decided to take a more relaxed approach and was taking my time in getting started in the morning. Then FIL calls to say he's coming after all so I go from relaxed to stressed in 2.9 seconds.

All I have to say about Thanksgiving is that its over and the leftovers are gone at this point so yay.

I ended up working on Sat to make up for not going in on Wed and so between the drive the previous weekend, Thanksgiving and working on Sat, I feel like I haven't really had a weekend in awhile!

Add to that, we did Zachary's headshots this past Sunday. Wow! What a difference a professional photographer makes! My little 8 year old looks 12! He didn't much care for the makeup (a dot of undereye concealer, a light dusting of powder and some carmex on his lips) and kept making his squinty, pouty face, but he had some awesome shots. I hope these comp cards get him some work, because I am NOT driving to Miami for calls anymore. We will go for actual castings , but unless we win the lotto, it's just not feasible. Although I hear that they have calls in town once in awhile, so we can definitely hit those.

Eli is up to nearly 13 pounds! Here he is with his chubby smile. He has wrist bracelets, dimpled knees and no neck--the perfect level of chubbiness without being too chubby. Just the right size to sqeeeeze! I still love carrying him around in his sling. I must say, I tried every padded, buckled, belted contraption and this is by far the easiest, most versatile and most comfortable baby carrier around. I have so much freedom in it and getting Eli in and out doesn't rquire being next to a padded surface and an extra set of hands. And he loves it too!


Every time I go out in it, someone comments on it and asks me how it is. I think I need to order another one since I plan on using it for awhile and I think I ordered this one too short (I'm not wearing it precisely correctly. The rings should be on my shoulder.) Plus, I'd love another color choice to coordinate with more outfits.

And Matthew is his usual charming self. He has two phrases that he has been repeating incessantly lately. It was cute at first, but now its getting to be annoying.

The first is, "Deal!" He tries to get his way with something and he'll come up and present you with it very matter-of-factly, then he'll end it with "DEAL" and stick out his hand for you to shake. Example: "Mommy! Mommy! The toy on tv, we gotta buy it! You hafta go to the store right now! Deal, Mommy? Deal?" or "Mommy, I don't want to go to bed. I want to watch teedee (TV), Deal?" I don't think he quite grasps the concept that making a deal usually means *I* get something out of the bargain too, lol!

The second is "for real." He says this incessantly to impress upon me his sincerity. "Mommy, Zacky hurt me, for REAAAAAL!!!" Yeah, right, I saw him brush up against you on his way to the bathroom. I saw you look for an audience and then throw yourself on the floor howling. I know you're an actor looking for a stage. For real.

Next up is Christmas. Between all the shopping, cleaning, working, organizing, crafting, baking etc. that needs to be done between now and then, I could use a few more official "Happy Days" between now and then.

For real.

the girl who would like to introduce

Ford Modeling Agency's newest child models. Yes, we did it. We signed him up. Now all we have to do is get his headshots taken ($$$ YIKES! $$$$) but the scout was very enthusiastic about ALL of the boys. However, because of the expense involved, we are only going to market Zack and Eli. Eli because he doesn't need headshots (being an infant apparently snapshots will do.) and is a baby and will only be expected to be cute and Zack because he is the most mature at the moment and really can understand what is expected.

So this is our newest adventure. I hope it goes well. They are interested in Ian and Matthew too, but little Drama King Ian had a meltdown at the scout's office and we agreed that maybe he should work his way into the business gradually. And Matthew...well, we might do a sibling shot on Zack's comp card (see I'm already getting the lingo down!) and market him from that, but one $600 expense at a time, thank you very much!

The big thing here is that its Ford Models. Wowza. That's a HUGE name in "the biz" and I have high hopes we will be doing some serious road tripping to Miami for some college tuition opportunites.
And of course, this is Eli at the present moment. Getting stronger and chubbier every day. Look at those baby push ups! Such a big boy! He is really becoming VERY animated and smiling, cooing, razzing and really working at engaging people. He has excellent eye contact too. If he's sitting next to you and you're not paying attention to him, he'll start to razz and smile until you start playing with him. And the boy has a huge attention span! Mommy and Daddy get bored with the game long before he does.

Eli actually has a call for a catalog shoot for Mini Boden on Wednesday, but I don't think we can make it because he is coming down with a little cold. We shall see if I can make arrangements for the other boys and how he's feeling before I decide anything.

Still, I'm amazed it was this easy to get the boys signed. I've always known they were something special, but when someone else tells you that they're so special they want to make money off of them, well it's a huge ego boost to this Mama.

And one more triumph for the Martinez boys: Zachary not only got straight A's on his report card, but he was the oNLY kid in his class to get straight A's! Go go, little Einstein!

the girl who is exhausted

Whew! Halloween sure can be tiring...for parents. The kids ran on a sugar high and anticipation of more candy all day long. Give a kid a chance to dress up and beg for candy and there is no stopping them!

I only went in for a half day today and got out shortly after lunch to pick up Zacky from school. After the briefest of naps (I earned it!) We went to the sitter's to pick the rest of the crew up. She was just starting the "party" for the kids so we hung out for an hour or so so the boys could enjoy themselves. After that, photo shoot in the backyard and then off to the school for "Gross Out Night."

Now I remember the Halloween Carnival at my elementary school and I must say, while I admire the premise, this PC thing is just destroying fun for the kids. Back in my day (OMG, did I just say that?!!) the school was transformed. Classrooms became haunted houses, cafeterias were divided into booths filled with games and treats, there was always a cake walk and a raffle and a costume contest. But, nooo, Halloween is a terrible pagan holiday and some people might be offended by it and we certainly wouldn't want to pretend we endorsed Satan of all things so the Halloween Carnival begat the Fall Festival begat Gross Out Night.

Gross Out Night was held in conjunction with the science fair for the fourth and fifth graders. Yep, a scientific Halloween. They really tried to appeal to the kids and give them a place to go, but filling the cafeteria with educational explanations for bodily functions got really old after about ten minutes. Yes, there was fake snot and farts and scabs and ear wax and yes, even edible fake vomit. But it just wasn't the same.

Ah, how I long for the "good ol' days."

I can't remember at what point I was allowed to go out Trick or Treating on my own (or with big sister) but I do remember going up and down the street, knocking on doors and ringing on doorbells. My parents would turn out the porch light and hide in the back of the house (spoilsports) being the dark, empty house on the block while my sister and I trolled the streets for candy, usually in homemade costumes. Either that, or we'd be dropped off at a local elementary school to experience those delights, back when such a thing was still delightful. Nowadays, well...it just doesn't seem as magical. I hope the kids have good memories of these times, but I hesitate to think of what it will be like for their kids if these experiences are compared with their children's and the latter comes out lacking.

Anyway, back to the fun part. We did attend Gross Out Night and the boys seemed like they had a reasonable amount of fun. However, with barely enough candy to line the bottom of their buckets, we decided to hit the houses on the way home. Much better. With four kids, (yes, Eli tagged along, and while I did not hold up "his" pail at every door, more often than not, people slipped something into the bucket while admiring him. Something about babies in Pumpkin Hats.) the candy haul was more respectable.

Eli was more or less a pumpkin. My Mom sent him a Halloween sleeper, "My First Halloween" bib and a pumpkin hat. He was cute enough and I was over trying to find a costume to fit him. He passed out with all the noise and heat of the cafeteria and didn't stir for all of the banging on doors and shouts of "TRICK OR TREAT!" Which made him all the more adorable.

Zack was a Ninja--but refused to wear most of his costume. The gauntlets broke trying to remove them from the packaging, the sash was lost and the scarf for over his mouth was uncomfortable. The hood was pretty much a no go too, but he popped it off and on sporadically. Now I was surprised when he announced in the costume aisle that he wanted to be a ninja. No ninja movies out lately, no ninja cartoons (that I am aware of) and he'd never shown an interest in Ninjas before. But I figured it out when he approached me with a three foot long six inch wide hard plastic sword with the title "Ninja Sword." He wanted the accessories, he didn't care about the actual costume. Looking into my Mommy crystal ball, I saw a broken tv, an eye put out and an infant brother becoming "collateral damage." The sword was nixed, the costume approved, and a much, much smaller (and more aesthetically pleasing) foam sword was purchased instead.

Ian was a Cowboy. He originally picked out a pirate costume, but then Matthew (who had originally picked out Thomas the Tank Engine) decided he wanted to be a pirate too. Fine. I'll get two different pirate costumes. But at checkout, I discovered that Matthew's pirate costume was missing pieces so back into the fray we went. I could only find another costume like Ian's that was complete and in Matthew's size, so we were going to do that. But Mr. Ian didn't want to match his brother. Originally, he said he wanted to be Buzz Lightyear. My sister sent me one of my nephew's old costumes, and Ian is in love with Buzz, so he claimed it and wears it constantly. (The other day it was footy pajamas, Buzz Lightyear costume and a Batman cape...to go to sleep) Once he saw his brothers were getting new costumes, he wanted one too. But I had pretty much planned on that happening. Anyway, back to the great costume debate. I couldn't convince Ian to forget about the pirate and go as Buzz or pick another costume (other than the Wednesday Addams one he fell in love with--don't tell Aramis) so I asked him if he'd like to be Woody from Toy Story. Of course they didn't have a Woody costume, but they had a generic Cowboy and Thank Goodness he fell for it. I must say though, he made a fine looking Cowboy. It totally suited him!

Now I expected that after all the fuss and bother of the pirate costume debate, that Matthew would stay true to form and change his mind on his costume as we were checking out, or better yet, on Halloween. I expected crying and a meltdown, simply because he rolls like that. But no, he was happy with the Pirate costume, it fit his little body perfectly and it also suited him. He was the cutest pirate out there!

So this year's festivities are over and done. The candy has been hidden away, to be sorted through when I recover from the night.. And the kiddos crashed and actually went to sleep when they were sent to bed.

All in all, exhausting, but worth it.

the girl who went to the pumpkin patch

So we took our annual trip to the pumpkin patch and, as usual, I love the pictures. This is my yearly tradition and the boys are very good at humoring me. We did actually pick out a pumpkin in addition to taking pictures, and picked up two gourds as well. I plan on seeing how clever I can get with these.

Also, as usual to my experience, taking pictures of slumpy babies doesn't go so well, so Eli only got a couple of shots. You really don't want to test the patience of a sleepy infant because as soon as he really wakes up, he's likely to be hungry. So eyes closed but still cute.

It kept threatening to rain so I tried to be super quick. I still managed some fabulous shots. Family members, put in your requests now!

the girl who has some stories to share

We've been having trouble with bedtime.

Again.

It's a never ending cycle of tucking in and kiss! hug! and where is Geckie and Bunny and Puppy and I want my piwhow that's not my piwhow and potty! potty! I need to go potty! and Mommy, I thwirsty and kiss! hug! and laughs and giggles as wrestling ensues amongst the million stuffed animals and then there's the musical beds and I don't want so and so to sleep with me I want to sleep with so and so and go to bed! Go. To. Bed! and

GO TO BED!!!!

sigh!

Inevitably someone's butt gets red an hour (or two) later and once the histrionics die down they finally fall out.

So tonight, after a blah never quite rained but always looked like it was about to day where both Daddy and I had our patience tested at work and at home, I sat them down before bedtime and gave them The Speech.

"Ok Boys. 1, 2, 3, eyes on me. Are you paying attention?

Good.

This is how its going to work tonight.

I am going to tuck you in. I am going to give you kisses and hugs and tell you I love you. And then you are going to
go.
to.
sleep.

There will be no extra trips out of bed for any reason.

So go to the bathroom now. Grab your lovies now. Decide which blanket you want to sleep with now. Decide which bed you are going to sleep in now.

Once you are in bed, tucked in and kissed goodnight
that.
is.
it.

No giggling, no playing, no wrestling, no traveling from bed to bed. Do you understand?

Good.

Because the alternative is I just spank you now and get it over with. Are we clear?

Good.

Now you have two minutes to get everything you need to go to sleep.

Go!"

And probably because the boys had been nothing but trouble all day and might have sensed Mommy and Daddy were OVER IT they actually sort of did what I asked.

When I was tucking in Matthew I laid down in bed next to him to stroke his cheeks and scratch his back like he likes (I love it when he says in his little almost four year old voice, "Aww, that feeld GOOOOD!) he says to me, "Mommy, I have two piwhows. You sleep with me. Come on Mommy. Come onnnn!"

The expression on his face as he was trying to coax me into sleeping with him was adorable and the tone in his voice was too cute. So grown up and persuasive.

So I tucked the other two in and cuddled up next to Matthew, intending to just lay down with him until he fell out.

He then proceeds to tell me a story. I think it started off with him telling me about being woken up this morning by the garbage truck, but it went on to describe "fwying punkins" and the sun going up and down and the moon coming out and (slightly disturbing) the garbage truck killing him and him climbing a ladder (complete with sound effects and hand gestures) to the sun. He must have liked his own sound effects because he repeated them a few times and then started listing everyone he knew climbing a ladder (wadder) to the sun too. He ended it with an earnest, "And you too, Mommy!" and then just dropped his hands as if to say, "The end."

My child has the BEST imagination! I love it!

Of course, I ended up dozing next to hm, waking up when Aramis came to find me to tell me goodnight at ten o'clock. I contemplated just going to sleep then, but, of course, then Eli was up. So here I am, wide awake and trying to decide between organizing all my new scrap goodies and actually scrapping.

Either way, I should have some fun. But first I have to make sure Eli is settled. So I'm nursing Eli on the couch and I hear pages turning. Feeling thirsty, I call out, "Zack, I know you're up. Go grab me a Coke." (This is why I have kids, you know.) He takes that as permission to come spend some one on one time with me. All of the boys manage to do this trick at least once a week. It's kind of sweet and gives us time with the boys individually.

So he puts on the tivoed High School Musical and we watch and sing along together. And then a commercial comes on for some video game with Drake Bell that teaches you how to play guitar and he comes at me with this:

"I was thinking about learning to play guitar. Because if I learn to play guitar, I'll get a lot of girlfriends. But if I get a lot of girlfriends, I'll probably go CA-RAY-ZY!!! (little giggle here) Right, Mommy? So maybe I don't want a lot of girlfriends. I think just five. Yeah, I think five girlfriends would be ok."

Lord help me, he's only 8.

So, we're at the finale right now ("We're all in this to-ge-ther, WILDCATS!") and he'll be off to bed after Shar-Pay gets her cookies. (Yes, any Mom who has sat through HSM knows what I am talking about.) He's currently singing and dancing along and Eli is happily swinging and cooing along. Soon, I'll have MY time to scrap or organize and my blah day will end on a high note.

And I guarantee that I will wake up in the morning with Matthew at the foot of the couch (my temporary sleeping place until Eli sleeps through the night) and Ian asleep on the loveseat beside me.

The day was blah and I was at my wits end with the kids, but when you have stories like these to tell, it makes it all worth it.

the girl who is a BAD GIRL!!!

Yup, ask anyone (especially my mom, lol!). But now it's official and comes with perks!

Yes, I successfully completed my semester at Bad Girls Academy and graduated Suma cum Laud. Translation: I WON TOP DESIGNER AT THE BAD GIRLS SITE!

Floored, shocked, amazed, how many other adjectives can I come up with? Astounded, excited, ecstatic....bring me a thesaurus, I could go on all day! This contest was so challenging and fun, and had some pretty tough competition too! Layouts like this, and this, and this just blew me away. (if you can't see these, that means you're not a bad girl! Sign up, this gallery is chocked full of eye candy and the kits are simply luscious.)

Wendy Rago--the owner and founder of Bad Girls--has such a talent for putting all of these goodies together (and is pretty sweet besides) so when she asked me to also join the Design Team I was over the moon! SO that means that not only do I get this prize package of goodies (try not to drool on your screens)


but I also will get a nice package every month to play with. There is always something super cool in the kits. October's kit has damask printed packing tape! Just imagine what you could do with that! If you want to see my entry in its entirety, go here.

My mother was super excited, my husband (who is amazingly supportive) was proud and da Jens are excited for me to because I promised to share my prize pack with them! (Ok, they're proud of me too!)

So all of this "Top Designer" stuff has me on a scrappy high--so much inspo everywhere. I found these sites today and could seriously spend all day just clicking link after link after link drooling over all the creativity. Unfortunately, my winning streak does not extend to the lottery. Nope, checked this morning and we still didn't win. A girl can dream, can't she?

**************************

In other news:

My friends Holly Golightly and Jim Balent are in town this weekend for their annual Halloween Horror Nights trip. I love this couple! So sweet and approachable! I met them when I worked at the Hard Rock Hotel and have stayed in contact with them ever since. They are truly fun to hang out with and I have the biggest girl crush on Holly. She epitomizes my inner goth girl--the girl I would love to let out and play more often, but being Mommy gets in the way. So I'll live vicariously through her and enjoy it.

And a couple pics of Mr. Ian to liven your day. One of our favorite places to grab a quick dinner is Firehouse Subs. We get something that isn't deep fried and the boys get fireman hats! So everyone wins! My BIL is a firefighter, so my nephew has a multitude of firefighter themed apparel. I recently got a box of hand-me-downs for the boys and now we have more firefighter pj's than you can shake a stick at! (Although I don't know why you'd want to shake a stick at them, I'm just saying we have more than you could) So, of course, I had to take a pic of Mr. Shy being all cute and excited with his firefighter hat and pj's.

Ian is relishing his role as bigger brother (Matthew is the big brother, Ian the bigger, Zack the biggest). He has always been very caring and nurturing and loves to help out. He's adorable with Eli, but quite frankly, just plain bossy to Matthew and worships Zack. It's interesting to see the family dynamic change over the years. Two years ago, Matt and Ian were inseparable, now Matthew is the odd man out and has been usurped by the baby besides. I remind myself of this constantly as he is definitely acting out these days. I guess I've been lucky--I didn't have to deal with the "No!" phase coming from my kid with the older too.

This too will pass.

Next weekend is definitely our annual trip to the pumpkin patch. One of my favorite photo ops of the year! So be prepared to be inundated with pictures next week!

And lastly, my mind is currently racing with ribbon ideas. Why? Because that's the next challenge in Last Scrapper Standing. Yep, I made it through to round three and am super stoked!

I have an idea, but, of course, none of my expansive (and frequently unused) ribbon supply fits my vision. So I'm going to try to sneak over to Michaels this evening and get some cool trim. I'll let you know what I come up with!

Happy Scrappy!

the girl who has an assistant

I am pretty darn lucky.

"Take Your Child to Work Day" is every Friday for me.


You see, I didn't really take a maternity leave. I gave birth on a Wednesday and was back to work the following Monday. And--as my GM loves to point out to people who have attendance issues--I managed to call in 2 hours in advance from the ambulance as they were loading me in.

clearly I haven't lost all my baby weight yet

Why so dedicated? Do I love my job that much?


Well, the truth of the matter is that I am in charge of payroll, and Monday was the day to run payroll. Since Eli came so early, my replacement wasn't trained and if I wanted to get paid, well, I had to do it myself. After that, well, Eli was in the NICU and being able to go to work for a few hours when I felt like it was good for me. It kept me from worrying so much and actually gave me a chance to rest more than I would have at home. I was given the best terms ever. I got to come and go as I pleased for the first three months after the birth, as long as I got payroll done and took care of the "essential" parts of my job.

Completely Awesome!

It gets better.

Once Eli got out of the NICU, I took some time off (about a week and a half) to bond and visit with my parents who drove from Texas. When I went back, it was with Eli in tow. I worked the hours I wanted and was able to take time for the doctor's appointments and such. Heck, I even took time because I just felt like sleeping in! The important parts of my job got done, but I wasn't trapped in the house.

I set up a little cradle in the corner of my office, got myself a baby sling to tote him around in, brought in a little changing station and we were good to go. When he was hungry, I'd just close the door and nurse while one-handed typing. Bliss. Plus he became everyone's favorite little guy. He even has his own nametag. It says "Eli Eleven, Human Resources Assistant."

When I came back "officially" to full time, I started leaving him with the sitter's. That didn't even last a week. Every day it was, "Where's my Baby!" "Where's Eli?" People would tip toe into my office just in case he was in the cradle sleeping. Anyone who walked past my door would always peek to see if they could spy him in his cradle.

And I missed him too.

So that first Friday of full-time, I brought him back in. I needed my Assistant after all! So Fridays are Eli days. I still get asked about him during the week and I just say, "Friday, he'll be in on Friday." Now that he is getting more active and is awake and alert more, he gets fussier, so it really can't last much longer. But I'll enjoy it while I can.

**********************************

In other news:

This is how I stand in the two scrappy contests I've been participating in.

For the Effer's Last Scrapper Standing, I have officially progressed to Round Three! Yaaay! This was my entry for that:

Pretty Darn personal. The challenge was to scrap 7 random things. Since I scar so easily, it grew into this. It evolved from a previous idea I had where I wanted to do seven totally unrelated random things, but work my journaling into the picture. After failing to find a revolving door in a decent driving distance, (it was relevant, trust me) I decided to just scrap random things about my body and write directly on myself. One of the random things I had thought about is the fact that my second toe is longer than my big toe. However, when looking at my feet, didn't want to take a picture because of the scars I have everywhere. Little nicks and dings, not really aesthetically pleasing. So I decided to just scrap my scars. I really have always wanted porcelain, Nicole Kidman, luminous skin. But I've learned to accept I never will. Its just me.

And now, onto Round Three! I can't wait to see what the challenge is, they've already narrowed the ranks from 250-something to 42, so just getting to Round 3 is a feat I can be proud of.

*****

And in the Bad Girls contest....this was week 5, using the design element of unity. I chose shape and color as elements to create unity. Lots of round and circles here and lots of orange to contrast the blue in Ian's outfit. I love this pic, even though you can't really see Ian's eyes.

I am happy, pleased and otherwise estatic to announce that I made it to the finals! Yes, it's down to just ten ultra talented ladies and I am in that number! I got a personal call from Wendy Rago--the owner of Bad Girls Kits--and she is just such a cool girl to talk to. If the boys hadn't started killing each other in the next room, I'd still be on the phone with her!

The neat thing about the Bad Girl's challenge is that it has been structured like a class. Each round of competition has been a class in design. It's been pretty awesome. I was always the kid at school who did really well with parameters. I have plenty of creativity on my own, but give me a set of rules to follow and some guidelines and I'm off! I've been loving this! I will be so sorry to see it end and can't wait to see who gets chosen as Top Designer.

And, btw, I think I have a new kit obsession. I'm definitely jumping on the waiting list for this club!

Final entries are supposed to be up by eight pm (EST) on Thursday. I'm actually done. I had an idea, I ran with it, and Aramis even allowed me to get some adult time in this weekend by going to a crop. (A definite mood lightener since I've been feeling a little trapped lately. He doesn't have his weekends off anymore and we have no time together as a family. Which means my weekends are filled with all of the kids home with me when I just want to relax and unwind sometimes. I have no time during the week to run errands which means I have to take all four kiddos with me when I go to the grocery store, get an oil change, get a haircut, etc, etc, etc. I've been stressed out by it all) So my page is done, but I don't want to post it yet. I wwant to wait until the due date. I guess its the competitive side of me not wanting the other contestants to see it just in case they haven't completed their own. But I can't resist sharing a little sneaky peek since I love this layout so much. Who cares about the contest when you get inspired to create this kind of art?

Here it is! Shhhhh!

Well, I'm off to get some sleep and dream of scrappy goodness.

the girl who has a porker

Look at my little Eli-phant. He is just getting bigger and bigger each day! I think it’s his sitter. She just loves feeding him. He’s starting to get more personality too, learning to smile and laugh and coo. He is just one of those babies that you fall completely in love with. And there is something about his head—it begs to be kissed repeatedly. Aramis pointed it out to me that I was kissing his head every few seconds. I believe his exact words were, “Stop it! You’ll give him a bald spot!” Lol! I’ve noticed my sitter does the same thing. I had handed him over to her at the drop-off and we were chatting for a moment. I noticed that she absentmindedly would kiss his head every minute or so, almost like punctuation. And when I picked him up that evening, I thought for a moment he had bumped his head somehow. No, it was just lipstick prints all over his noggin.

My child, the kiss magnet.

In other news, I set a dangerous precedent last month by putting Radio Disney on the car radio when we were going to be driving for a bit. (Draven’s b’day party) Since then, the boys expect it every time they get in the car. How bad is it that I forget to switch it over after dropping them off and end up finding that I am singing along to Hannah Montana? Not to mention that I now have the entire soundtrack to High School Musical 2 memorized?

Someone, please help me!

The girl who has been putting it off

I am a procrastinator by nature.

I swear it's an inherited trait as I distinctly remember my Mother (a retired teacher) always stressing out about the lesson plans she hadn't completed. Now, the benefit of this is that I am a great improvisor and work well under pressure. Give me a six-week deadline and I guarantee you I will be starting (rather than putting the finishing touches on) the project at 11:30 the night before it's due. And I'll probably be missing some vital companent which will force me to get creative to replace it or at least get creative in whatever excuse I use to justify its absence. I also guarantee that the project will probably turn out just fine. Nothing like a deadline to get the ol' creative juices flowing.

Add to that the fact I am also pretty competitive and what do you get? You get someone who was on the varsity speech team in high school and routinely wrote her speeches on the bus on the way to the tournament I signed up for six weeks ago. Or, in my present life, you have someone who hasn't managed to find or inspiration to scrap in the past three months, yet still enters TWO large elimination based scrapping contests.

What the hell was I thinking?

So, the two contests I have entered are the Bad Girls Top Designer and the Effer Dares Last Scrapper Standing, Vol. 2. I entered LSS 1 last year and was so stoked! It really challenged me to produce some awesome layouts and kept me going. I'll admit to being a little burned out when all was said and done, but I made it to the final round and every layout I produced for that contest was picked up for publication. Awesome!

This year I hope the creative juices get flowing again and I make it through all of the rounds again. I doubt I'll win, considering the talent this contest pulls, but I enjoy the creative push. I have so much respect and admiration for the Effers (including a huge scrappy crush on Kristina Contes) that I really push myself to impress them.

Anyway, the first challenge was to use 8 transparent elements on a layout. And this is what I came up with.

I printed the pictures on transparency and then sprayed chrome paint on the back to make them metallic. Trust me, it looks completely awesome IRL. Then I mounted all of my transparent elements on a 12x12 mirror tile, but I spaced them using clear acrylic beads. The effect of the transparent elements reflecting in the mirror came out exactly as I had hoped and is elegant and funky at the same time.

LOVE IT!

And apprently the Effers did too because I made it through to Round 2 along with about 80 other girls. I don't have exact numbers of entrants, but it looks like they cut the competition down by more than half. So now I'm just waiting for the next challenge.

For the Bad Girls contest, I am up to round four. Entries are due today and, silly me, I actually got mine in a day EARLY! lol!

party animal

This is the Round 3 entry where the contestents were given a lesson in seven elements of design and then asked to choose one to emphasize in their layout. I used the element of line. Notice that all of the horizontal and vertical lines converge on the picture, making it the focal point. Apparently the judges liked my take because it led to this:

so in love

Yes, my early entry for Round 4. This round's assignment was to use white space effectively. Now I LOVE using white space. I think it could be one of my favorite design elements. In this case, my white space isn't truly "white" it's actually a subtley textured background, but I think it adds to the feeling of peaceful serenity of the picture and the banner element continues the lines of my embellishments, helping direct the eye to the picture. I love this layout!

In other news:

Aramis has grown a beard. I think it's part a.) laziness and b.) because he can. Anyway, I am now married to Grizzly Adams' Cuban brother. I kinda like it. I like a simple goatee better, but I can deal with this.

Plus it cuts his prep time for work down to, like, ten minutes. lol!

Zack is doing well in school, despite his best efforts to not do his homework. I swear, he spends more time and effort in thinking of excuses and hiding his Agenda so he can say he "forgot" it then it would take if he just the darn homework in the first place!

Ian is talking non-stop these days. Still can only understand about half of what he's saying, but at least he's vocal. He has switched allegiance from Matthew to Zachary. Now the two of them gang up on Matthew and use him as the universal scapegoat. For the first time, I'm having to tell the boys they are not allowed to say they don't like their brother.

Matthew (and maybe because of being picked on by his bigger brothers) is a little pill. A cute and adorable little pill, but a pill nontheless. Yesterday we had an epic 20 min temper tantrum over leaving his backpack at the sitter's. He ended up getting a fully clothed cold shower and early bedtime with no dinner for that performance. And yet, I still melt when he demands a "hug, kiss!" even after being punished. His new ritual is to give me an imaginary present before I leave for work and admonish me not to open it. Awww! Although I really am curious as to what he thinks he's giving me. Maybe just the fact its a present is enough.

And Eli is getting bigger every day. I know he's over 8 lbs now, but now the exact weight. He is a clingy little guy though. He's happiest when he is *on* someone. And by "someone" I mean, me. And by "on" I mean using my breast as either a pacifier or pillow. He can be dead asleep and you move him to the bed and off his "pillow" and, while he won't wake for the transfer, within five minutes, he's figured out something is missing and is wailing away again. It's nice to be appreciated!

Finally, the weather was GORGEOUS this past weekend. So much so, I even braved taking all four boys to the park. There were TWO birthday parties going on so I had to really watch the boys, but they had fun and it got them out of the house for awhile. (It also gave me an excuse not to do laundry, shh!) Considering the beautiful day, I tried to get a pic of all four boys in the sunshine.

This is the best I could come up with.

And these are all the "other" shots.

Notice at least one, if not two, kiddos are not looking at the camera or looking with a horrible expression in each shot.

And yes, I know Ian needs a haircut. I planned on doing that, but we went to the park instead!

the girl who is just putting this on repeat

You know how you get tired of telling your kids the same thing over and over? Well, I'm just going to start playing this everytime they act up!

the girl is already over it

I usually have very few privacy issues--I mean, with four boys in a small house, I can't really expect much. But what is it with the bathroom? (TMI alert) Why is it impossible for me to go to the bathroom by myself? You would expect a closed door would be a signal of sorts, but not so. Apparently a closed door is an invitation to corner Mommy while she is trapped on the toilet. And it doesn't matter WHAT is going on in the bathroom, the boys want to be part of it. Locking the door has no effect, other than to encourage the child to stand outside the door banging on it over and over and getting worked up--which translates to LOUD!

Mommy's taking a shower? Let's leave the door open so it gets ice cold and then ask Mommy why her nipples are hard enough to cut glass and what do they do and can I come in with you and here's a bath toy for you Mommy and I want a drink Mommy can I have some juice and Mommy, so-and-so called me a name and Eli's crying Mommy and Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, MOMMY!

Mommy's is trapped on the toilet offending herself? A perfect time to come in and discuss the fact that you would like some Boo-bah toys (don't know why Ian is on this kick, right now. It's a resurgence.) and by making this request, you expect immediate, as in get up and let's go now, action or time to come in and stay just out of arms reach while going through all the toiletries and ignoring Mommy's cries to put down the lipstick now or, even better, come in and just sit and chat while asking Mommy questions about her bodily functions and (even better) inquiring about the sanitary products Mommy is currently using and wanting to know if Mommy is ok.

So let's say Mommy is getting ready for work. Now is the perfect time to come in and ask about book fair money or to insist on using all of Mommy's hair mousse, deodorant, et all, or again, with the sanitary products, only add breast pads to the list because I'm nursing, and again with the request for juice, expecting immediate action.

There have been times when the entire family (including the cat!) have taken advantage of the fact Mommy was trapped to converge upon the bathroom and just chill out. It's amazing, really. So my embarrassment quotient is pretty high and I actually had to go, huh? when that body guard of Britney Spears testified she spent time naked in front of her kids. Between the lack of bathroom privacy and breastfeeding, my kids are very well acquainted with female nudity.

So normally, its not really an issue. I'm kinda used to it. But today I just wanted a little alone time and when the bathroom barrage began I ended up growling and snapping at the kiddos. Of course, they each had to beard the lioness in her lair and each got their own dose of "CAN'T I JUST GO TO THE BATHROOM IN PEACE!!!!?"

Where did I put that Valium? Yep, Valium and some duct tape and a maid (or bulldozer) and I just might make it through the day. More importantly, my kids might make it through the day!

******************************

So, Little E got snipped this week. Poor baby! He couldn't have it done before because he was so small, and then there was a slight (ahem) insurance snafu which took some time to get resolved, so at ten weeks the little guy went in for his procedure. The little porker is up to 7lb, 14 oz! Yes, that is "normal baby" size. But keep in mind, his corrected age is just three weeks, so I'm pretty satisfied. He, however, was not satisfied. On top of having his turtleneck altered to a crew neck, the Dr. had to add insult to injury by giving him four vaccinations! I guess its better to get it over with all at once, but still--poor baby!

This is him before the dreaded procedure. Isn't that hat and baby blanket combo adorable? They were made by a lovely girl that DH works with. I met her once very briefly when DH took me all around his work to show off 11. She stood out from everyone and I remembered her out of all the people I met that day. I tease DH and call her his GF. But you have to be careful when you tease like that in front of the kiddos. Zachary now refers to the blanket as "the blanket Daddy's girlfriend made." Lol! So thank you, Laura, its adorable and I love it and can I get those cute hats made for each of my boys?

Speaking of all these little shorthand acronyms I use, my Darling Hubby isn't familiar with all of them and when he spotted me using DH in reference to him, he translated it to something completely different and got himself quite worked up and offended. For the record: "DH" is not an acronym for Richard Cranium.

Lastly, gotta share this lo I did for a scrappy contest recently. I love these pics of Matthew and you might recognize them from an earlier post. I had a ton of fun with this lo and it was good enough to advance me to round three of Top Designer at the Bad Girls website.

shake it, Matthew!

the girl who wants her medal...NOW!

So yesterday, the fabulous Miss Island Jen hosted a party for her little guy, Draven's 3rd birthday. She chose Lake Lotus Park waaaaaay on the other side of town from me. I mean, really, Jen. You should be more considerate and host all of your get-togethers close to me for my convenience! tsk! tsk!

Anyway, so I loaded all four of the kiddos into the car, got a full tank of gas and off we went. The boys had thoughtfully wrapped Draven's present (using more wrapping paper and tape than I believed possible. And yet, there were still plenty of gaping corners and Draven could have breathed heavy near it and the wrapping would have come off. Some weird kid physics I must have forgotten when I grew up.) so that was one chore I didn't have to do. I did, however, dress them all in pirate shirts since Draven's party had a pirate theme. Poor Matthew didn't have a pirate shirt, so we remedied that with a foam stamp and some acrylic paint. Pretty proud of myself for that one!

Matthew's improvised shirt

So off we go, fortified with Gatorade bottles and directions from MapQuest. Let me tell you, those directions SUCKED! I got to the very end to the critical part and got lost. Someone out there needs to come up with "Directions for Chicks" you know, "Drive down until you see the McDonalds next to the used car lot and take a left. Drive until you see the pepto bismol pink house and then look for a street to the right. Turn there and when you see the house with the tacky mermaid statue in the front yard start looking to your left, we're about three houses down. If you run into the dark purple house with the green trim, you've gone too far." You know, directions that make sense!

Not "Travel East 2.9 miles on 414-W going towards N.Lake Destiny Drive. Turn right on Gateway, travel <.9 miles and arrive at your destination." NOT!!! And I am not even exaggerating. I am quoting!

We arrive at the party an hour and a half late after three stops for directions and four complete circles. But we got there. As soon as I got off the tram with my crew, it started to rain. Typical. Luckily it was only a brief shower and enabled me to get my kids under cover. I think the party was running smoothly up to that point!

Jen gets ahold of Eli

Within five minutes of our arrival, I had dumped Eli into Miss Jen's arms, prepared three plates of hot dogs and chips, Matthew had received his first face bruise by falling on the playground, I had improvised an ice pack, the park ranger came by with animals and I had to juggle the kids, food and baby while trying to get my camera to take pictures of the kids with the baby alligator, Zack was interested, Ian was terrified, Matthew was missing and Eli was sweating. The ranger brought out a tortoise, Zachary was bored, Ian was interested, Matthew tried to take the Ranger's golf cart for a joy ride and Eli was sleeping.

meeting the critters

I retrieved Eli so Miss Jen could take pictures of her own and then I tried to eat. The entire day was me trying to keep track of where each of my kiddos was. Zack was constantly underfoot trying to be the boss of everyone. And he had a willing follower in a cute little girl named Parissa. (I think) She was adorable, obviously infatuated with Zack, and he was oblivious. Ian kept going off to play on the sidelines, as he is prone to do and Matthew kept trying to leave completely. There was another party being hosted at the next pavilion over and he kept crashing it. Unfortunately, this meant either someone else was always either chasing my kids or holding my baby while I chased my kids.

Zack and Parissa

After trying to rein in Zack's eagerness to "help" with the present opening, Matthew's method of "eating" the provided cupcakes (licking off all the frosting on top, dumping the actual cake part and then going back for more), and Ian's tantrums over his party hat breaking, I took advantage of Jen's offer to take the baby into the car's A/C to cool down. It seemed like a good opportunity to feed him too so I gratefully accepted. So that left my kiddos running wild and free under the watchful eye of Jen's dh, TJ.

the boys hard at play

After 20 mins or so of blissful silence and cool, I buttoned up and decided we should probably pack up as the party was winding down. I do a head count and come up one short. Ian is missing, but so is TJ, so I'm not panicking yet. I figure they are together. Then Jen gets a call on her cell from TJ requesting my presence at the bathrooms.

Poor Ian! He had evidently let loose before he had his pants completely down and had dribbled, um, a "mess" all down the back of his pants. Did I have spare clothes for him? Of course not. That would imply that I was prepared! So we improvised by taking a bath in the restroom sink and rinsing and twisting his clothes out thoroughly. I'd rather have a wet child than a "dirty" child and to be honest, in the heat, he was probably more comfortable that way. The strange thing is, that his underwear disappeared somewhere along the way. I asked TJ to check the men's restroom, but they weren't there. I am deathly afraid that my son may have flushed them down the toilet to get rid of them.

So once I get rid of that problem and start heading back to the pavilion, I come across Matthew eating "grapes." I think it was a flower and not an actual berry, and I would assume that the Park Rangers would not plant a brightly colored, berry-looking plant next to a playground if it was poisonous, but we did a quick manual clean out of the mouth and had him rinse and spit, just to be safe. I woke up this morning with as many children as I went to sleep with, so I assume everything is ok.

the flower/berry culprits

As I pack up to leave, I tell Jen that I my feelings won't be hurt if we don't get an invite next year, and laugh nervously....

saying goodbye

When we get home, I immediately go into the frantic "clean up and make it look like you accomplished something in the house before DH gets home" with three wound up kids and one somnolent baby (Thank God!) Apparently the (much shorter) ride home was just long enough for them to doze under the blissful tunes of radio Disney (I am a masochist, aren't I?) and refresh themselves. So they had fully recharged and were bouncing off the walls when we got home. I put them to work, cleaning when I had this conversation:

Ian: (to Matthew): "You're a Loser!"

Matthew: "Am Not! Mommy! Ian called me a loser!"

Me: "Boys! We don't call each other stupid, or losers or anything bad."

Zack: "Yeah, because if you do then you're bad and you'll get yelled at. That's the Circle of Punishment."

Such wisdom at such a young age!

So I survived, my kids survived and even Draven's party survived. I still think I deserve a medal, especially after this morning.

This morning, Mr. Mouse came at me with this:

"I don't like you Mommy."

Said very matter-of-factly, with just enough attitude to let me know he was serious. This after trying to poke me awake this morning, giving up and leaving after giving me a sloppy kiss on my forehead. I have no idea where it came from. I, of course, responded with MY Mom's standard response of, "That's too bad, because I love you!" It didn't do much to change his mind. I switched tactics and said, "Too bad, because this is my house, so you're going to have to live with me even if you don't like me." To that, he replied, "Mommy, I leave the house."

Ahh, if only!

I kid, I joke. I know that one day, 18 to 20 years from now when I do have a completely nest, I'll probably be lonely. Of course, there's a good chance I'll be a grandma by then--the kids are 8 years apart after all. Then, one day, one of their children will come at them with the infamous line: "Daddy, I don't like you!"

And the Circle of Punishment will be complete!

the girl who has some reading to do.

Madeline L'Engle is dead.


I loved and still read on occasion her Time series. Just last month my Mom came to visit me and while looking for a book for my chapter reading son, I found "An Acceptable Time" the last in the Time series that I never knew it existed!

I think my preference of that series would be:

1. A Wrinkle in Time
2. Many Waters
3. A Wind in the Door
4. A Swiftly Tilting Planet
5. An Acceptable Time

Although "Wrinkle" is the ultimate manifesto of "Be yourself, even if it goes against the crowd and won't make you fit in or be popular," "Many Waters" is a close second in popularity for me. It's actually the fourth in the series, but probably the second in terms of amount of times I've read it. Hell, it might be the first, but "Wrinkle" should hold the top honor since it got me into the series.

A big thanks to Mom too. She bought me my yellow covered Dell paperback before a roadtrip. It mysteriously sprouted what I think was Mylanta stains at some point, and still has them. Yes, I still have that copy of the book. It is one of the ones I have saved for my kids along with the Chronicles of Narnia and the Chronicals of Prydain.

It seems odd that I just now discovered the connection between the Murray's and the Austins. I read some of the Austins books but only "A Ring of Endless Light" appealed to me. And now, 15-20 years later, all I can remember is that I liked the poem in it and it had dolphins.

From "The World" by Henry Vaughan

I saw Eternity the other night

Like a great Ring of pure and endless light,

All calm as it was bright ;

And round beneath it, Time, in hours, days, years,

Driven by the spheres,

Like a vast shadow moved, in which the world

And all her train were hurled.

I remember this poem just spoke to me. And now I need to remember why.

Thank you Mom for making me love reading (even if buying books for a kid who get carsick reading was maybe not the smartest thing, but it made nights in the hotel along the way bearable.) and Thank You Miss L'Engle for writing such good books.

I have some reading to do.